Saving the best for last

Well, throughout this pregnancy I always thought that I would have this baby long before Big Daddy's birthday. I assumed wrong. I have never been pregnant this long before and today I for once hit the 40 week mark. It is a good feeling on one hand, but on the other it is a feeling as though you need to blow a st. bernard out your ass. But ce la vie.

Today Big Daddy turns the big 3-0. How does he feel about it, he says "ok". I dont think he can see past the homemade chocolate cake. That alone this year is his birthday gift. It took more effort than I needed to exude at this time. Happy Birthday Big Daddy!!!!

Tomorrow is D day. Delivery that is. Induction - 8am. Don't worry people, you can all stop phoning me on a daily basis now, Big Daddy will let you all know the news.

The sad reality is that today is the last day I will ever be pregnant. I hope that I can take some time to relish that tonight. Goodbye maternity clothes, hello regular old fat pants.

Life Partners

Have you ever had one of those moments when your spouse does something and you look over at them and the thought that runs through your mind is something like "Why on earth did I marry this person?" I have to admit that I have had a few of those moments. To be quite frank I am more than sure Big Daddy has had few too. Not that he has said so, but the expression on his face at times speaks volumes.

But, better yet, have you ever had one of those moments when your spouse does something that isn't over the top or grandious but it was just what you needed at that particular moment and you look over and think to yourself
"THAT is why I married this person!" Those moments are much more frequent and so often reiterate why I am where I am in my life.

Two weeks ago I had a fairly "rough" day in the scheme of my mundane life right now. But being 87 months pregnant and having more hormones rushing through my body than class full of grade 8 students it was a bad day. Big Daddy didn't say two words when he got home from work, he just knew and sat down beside me and let me completely loose my cool, while comforting me the whole time. It was a complete reiteration as to why I am married to whom I am.

But having a life partner isn't always easy and I wonder what it would be like to be in an arranged marraige/relationship. Do you learn to love the other person? Is love a learned behavior? Or does it actually blossom if you are compatable? I guess what got me thinking is we had two birds, one male (Mikey) and one female (Millie). They seemed to get along like most married couples.... she'd pick at him and he'd eventaully flip out and flap away at her. But next thing you notice they would be perched up close side by side.

Well, last night we had a death in the family and Mikey fell off his perch for the last time. Big Daddy and I had just deduced that from his odd look, puffiness and perch falling that he wasn't well. Last night as I laid in bed I heard a thunk from the bird cage and when I could no longer sleep (pregnancy induced insomnia will do that) I went downstairs and noticed Millie was perched all alone :( I peered in the cage and sure enough Mikey was tits up.

I have to say my bravery ended there as I covered my eyes and ran into the living room. I had a few decisions to make... do I let the kids see him dead? what do we do with it? I definately didn't want to touch it? But Big Daddy had to work in the morning and I wasn't prepared to live with a dead bird all day long, nor was I about to touch it myself.

I have to say, I don't think Big Daddy was too pleased at 1:40am when I roused him from a dead sleep to clean up a dead bird. Plus, before I could get out that it was a dead bird and not a wife in labour he had his shorts half on. I found it amusing, he on the other hand probably found it to be one of those moments where he questions why he married me.

So, as of today, we are one less family member. As much as I openly disliked the birds I am sad. I am sad for Joseph, who is extremely sad. I am also sad for Millie as she continues to stand on the perch right where Mikey fell and wimper. I can only imagine her thoughts, I am sure in her mind she has lost her life partner. I don't know if "bird years" exist or if she is aware that they have only lived together for two years? But I think when you have found your true life partner whether it is one day or one century that you spend together your heart aches and you loose a piece of yourself when you loose that other being. I know Mikey is in heaven, but Millie is still here and sadder than ever.

I guess that is a risk you take when you give your soul to someone and share your life with them. It is a gamble of a broken heart. But the fact of the matter is when you find a true life partner whom you truly can share your soul with, the benefits outweigh the risks by a long shot.

Rest in peace Mikey, we'll miss you.

Literally Speaking

Some days I really wonder where Joseph has space in his head to remember all these little events and factoids.

Yesterday I was feeling a bit exhausted after having six doctors appts in two days. So I asked the boys if I could relax and watch Oprah for an hour. They agreed. There I was sprawled out watching Oprah and working on a sudoku puzzle at the same time. Us women...we can multi-task you know. When Joseph comes into the living room in a flap of flaps and is losing it on me about how I said I was going to watch Oprah and now I am not. I assured him that I was infact watching the show. His reply was "No your not your doing your puzzle!"
Me: "Joseph, I can do two things at once"
J: "Well, now your LYING to me! Why do you lie Mom? Why?"
Me: "whoa! Why do you think I am lying to you?"
still answering me in his "flappy" voice
J: "well just the other day when I asked you to do you something you told me that you could only do one thing at a time!"

OHY. Where does this kid come up with this stuff? In all honesty I do not remember what he asked me to do or the specific conversation. But I can tell you that it very much probably is something I did say to him at one time or another.

I guess he had me there. I guess I can only multi-task when the circumstances are right.

Whew

Don't worry, we made it through the wedding without incident. All major events have passed and we are good to go any time now. When it will be... I sure wish my crystal ball worked. But we'll let you know.

Joking assumption or creepy intuition?

Big Daddy's brother is getting married this upcoming weekend. We are all anticipating the wedding and the good times that will go along with it. Big Daddy and I have our wedding duties and are just glad to get to join in all the fun.

But I have to admit as the day gets closer I grow more weary of my "job".
SIL to be has asked me to do a reading at the church. Sure. No biggie, I can do that. Whether I grotesquely waddle to the front of the church or have to hand over my baby to go up there, I will do it. The only thing holding me back would be actually being in the position of delivery at that particular moment.

However, the other day my sister was over and we were chatting. I told her about my reading. She giggles and says what if your water breaks while your up there and mimics "Love is patient...SPLOOSH" haha. I don't think I have ever been so white as my saucer sized eyes looked at her and I said "That is the reading I am doing!" How did she know that?!

So now all of the apprehensions I have gone to great lengths to suppress about getting up in front of 200+ in a church have resurfaced with avengance. I am now terrified that I will get up there, say those exact words and IT will happen.

I know I have no control over what happens or when it happens. But how creepy would that be.

So to all my blog readers who are wedding goers if you are wondering why I pause after I mutter the words "Love is patient" you will know that I am just waiting to make sure it was just a joking assumption.