Life Partners

Have you ever had one of those moments when your spouse does something and you look over at them and the thought that runs through your mind is something like "Why on earth did I marry this person?" I have to admit that I have had a few of those moments. To be quite frank I am more than sure Big Daddy has had few too. Not that he has said so, but the expression on his face at times speaks volumes.

But, better yet, have you ever had one of those moments when your spouse does something that isn't over the top or grandious but it was just what you needed at that particular moment and you look over and think to yourself
"THAT is why I married this person!" Those moments are much more frequent and so often reiterate why I am where I am in my life.

Two weeks ago I had a fairly "rough" day in the scheme of my mundane life right now. But being 87 months pregnant and having more hormones rushing through my body than class full of grade 8 students it was a bad day. Big Daddy didn't say two words when he got home from work, he just knew and sat down beside me and let me completely loose my cool, while comforting me the whole time. It was a complete reiteration as to why I am married to whom I am.

But having a life partner isn't always easy and I wonder what it would be like to be in an arranged marraige/relationship. Do you learn to love the other person? Is love a learned behavior? Or does it actually blossom if you are compatable? I guess what got me thinking is we had two birds, one male (Mikey) and one female (Millie). They seemed to get along like most married couples.... she'd pick at him and he'd eventaully flip out and flap away at her. But next thing you notice they would be perched up close side by side.

Well, last night we had a death in the family and Mikey fell off his perch for the last time. Big Daddy and I had just deduced that from his odd look, puffiness and perch falling that he wasn't well. Last night as I laid in bed I heard a thunk from the bird cage and when I could no longer sleep (pregnancy induced insomnia will do that) I went downstairs and noticed Millie was perched all alone :( I peered in the cage and sure enough Mikey was tits up.

I have to say my bravery ended there as I covered my eyes and ran into the living room. I had a few decisions to make... do I let the kids see him dead? what do we do with it? I definately didn't want to touch it? But Big Daddy had to work in the morning and I wasn't prepared to live with a dead bird all day long, nor was I about to touch it myself.

I have to say, I don't think Big Daddy was too pleased at 1:40am when I roused him from a dead sleep to clean up a dead bird. Plus, before I could get out that it was a dead bird and not a wife in labour he had his shorts half on. I found it amusing, he on the other hand probably found it to be one of those moments where he questions why he married me.

So, as of today, we are one less family member. As much as I openly disliked the birds I am sad. I am sad for Joseph, who is extremely sad. I am also sad for Millie as she continues to stand on the perch right where Mikey fell and wimper. I can only imagine her thoughts, I am sure in her mind she has lost her life partner. I don't know if "bird years" exist or if she is aware that they have only lived together for two years? But I think when you have found your true life partner whether it is one day or one century that you spend together your heart aches and you loose a piece of yourself when you loose that other being. I know Mikey is in heaven, but Millie is still here and sadder than ever.

I guess that is a risk you take when you give your soul to someone and share your life with them. It is a gamble of a broken heart. But the fact of the matter is when you find a true life partner whom you truly can share your soul with, the benefits outweigh the risks by a long shot.

Rest in peace Mikey, we'll miss you.