Better late than never

Is it true.....better late than never? I guess in some cases it probably is so very true. Like an order from e-bay, or Big Daddy arriving home from work... in those cases it really is, better late than never. But when your sitting on the toilet and your toddler whips the door open with incredible hulk-like force, runs over to you and shoves a brand new roll of toilet paper at you.... not really better late than never. I guess he just needed some time (like a week??) to process my request. Hey! When he is older he might be qualified to work for the government, or Canada Post.

The blind leading the toddler

Recently I had a real insight to what the phrase "the blind leading the blind" really meant. But I think what is worse...much, much worse is the blind (aka: Me) leading the toddler (aka: Trent).

I am sure we have all had those moments, really moreso women than men, where you sit down turn to reach for some toilet paper and inside of your head you hear horrible screams NOOOOOO. The roll is empty. I don't care who emptied the roll since most of the time it probably was me so I am not going to blame Big Daddy. As much as i'd like to say it's his fault, in all reality it most likely wasn't.

So there I am stranded in a fairly el fresco of situations. But a small glimmer of hope catches my eye. It was in the form of curly haired spunk standing right infront of the closet where the generous stock of toilet paper was. Near the end I was laughing so hard I don't necissarily recall what happened verbatum, but here is a close paraphrase.

ME: "Hey Trent..."
ME: "TRENT!"
ME: "TRENTER!!!"
Trent: looks up and flashes me a chipped tooth grin "Hi Mommy"
ME: "Yes, I know your cute. Stand up buddy."
ME: "Ya, stand up."
Trent: Follows instructions and stands up.
ME: "Turn around and open the closet door!" I figure if I speak in high enthusiasim he might think this is some sort of fun game.
Trent: turns around... opens closet door.
ME: DAMN, he opened the wrong side. "Hey buddy, open the other side...yup the other door too!" While motioning to the other half of the closet.
Hey hey, this isnt going too bad eh?
Trent: Opens the other side and looks at me.
ME: Crap! Roadblock, Big Daddy didn't take all the rolls out of the package he just shoved the whole 358 rolls enpackage into the closet. "Trent, look, yup that package of toilet paper, bring it to Mommy"
Trent: looks up, looks down, rubs the plastic on the package
ME: "YA YA!! Bring it to Mommy"
Trent: reaches down and grabs a washcloth and toddles over to me "Here Mommy"
ME: "Thanks sweetie, but what I really want is the pack of toilet paper.. Or a roll if you can reach behind the package." Even though the package is larger than Trent.. I figure he's a smart kid, right?
Trent: Goes back to the closet and looks around.
ME: Takes empty roll of holder, holds it up "Trent, this, ya this! Roll of toilet paper. Grab one and bring it to Mommy"
Trent: Rubs some towels, throws them on the floor.
ME: "Hey, the big package, bring it to Mommy!"
Trent: looks up.... spots a half of a roll of paper towel which is stashed with some cleaning supplies. "Paper Mommy, paper" ugh, ugh, ugh...jumping to reach the paper towel even though he is about four feet too short and can only jump about two inches.
ME: "No buddy, no, I need toilet paper. Not paper towel... down, look down"
Trent: walks away and goes downstairs.
ME: waddle over to the closet with my pants down and get it myself.

What a good way to waste a half an hour.

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Truth Day

I sometimes wish that one day a month could be "truth day". Especially when you work with customers who can be stubborn or miserable. As a person who deals with customers it has been drilled into my head for years that "the customer is always right" and I am the type of person who tries to make the customer happy. But damnit I am right sometimes and I would just like to tell some crusty old coot to shove it where the sun don't shine. But I don't, I put my ultra fake smile and mmmhmmm my way through.

Yesterday a middle aged man called needing some help accessing something on our web page so I personally log on to the site so I can be uber-specific in my directions and with the luxury of high-speed internet on both ends of the phone we could work step by step together to get him to his destination. But from the word go it was frustrating. I had polietly answered the phone and on this guys end there is no hello, no good afternoon just a "you have the worst website in the industry" Thanks buddy! Like I am the one who built the website and make it just to your liking? So with my shit eating grin I cheerily direct him to a place where he is to "click on" I suggest he do so, his reply "Why would I want to do that?" DUH! Maybe so you can look at what you just asked me for. So he does, and I mention that if you scroll down and look for such and such "Well I dont want to" was the reply I was met with. At this point is it wrong to call a customer a fucktard? At this moment I was having visions of that piano player on Sesame Street who gets mad and bangs his head on all the keys. So I explain to this dude that I am simply directing him to what he was looking for. I think need him to click on something again. I then get "Well thats not what I want to do."

On days like that or in dealing with people who are rude, stubborn or inconsiderate I wish I could have truth day where you just really get to tell that miserable bastard what I think about him. Working in an industry where these folks are making a living off the love of the land it is a hard job and I give credit to anyone who does it. But I am not the complaint department for the weather. I know to a few my title is Mother, not to be confused with Mother Nature. If I had that kind of power and control over something do you think I would be working at a desk for an hourly wage? I think if I had that kind of govern over things one of my first duties would be to get a handle on these terrible two tantrums, or potty training.

But really if only one day a month could be "truth day" I think it would be cleansing and mind clearing. Or at the end of the day would I just feel guilty after the fact that I told someone how I felt about their attitude. I guess there would have to be some level of tactful truth. Do you think tactful truth would help with tantrums and potty training?