The blind leading the toddler

Recently I had a real insight to what the phrase "the blind leading the blind" really meant. But I think what is worse...much, much worse is the blind (aka: Me) leading the toddler (aka: Trent).

I am sure we have all had those moments, really moreso women than men, where you sit down turn to reach for some toilet paper and inside of your head you hear horrible screams NOOOOOO. The roll is empty. I don't care who emptied the roll since most of the time it probably was me so I am not going to blame Big Daddy. As much as i'd like to say it's his fault, in all reality it most likely wasn't.

So there I am stranded in a fairly el fresco of situations. But a small glimmer of hope catches my eye. It was in the form of curly haired spunk standing right infront of the closet where the generous stock of toilet paper was. Near the end I was laughing so hard I don't necissarily recall what happened verbatum, but here is a close paraphrase.

ME: "Hey Trent..."
ME: "TRENT!"
ME: "TRENTER!!!"
Trent: looks up and flashes me a chipped tooth grin "Hi Mommy"
ME: "Yes, I know your cute. Stand up buddy."
ME: "Ya, stand up."
Trent: Follows instructions and stands up.
ME: "Turn around and open the closet door!" I figure if I speak in high enthusiasim he might think this is some sort of fun game.
Trent: turns around... opens closet door.
ME: DAMN, he opened the wrong side. "Hey buddy, open the other side...yup the other door too!" While motioning to the other half of the closet.
Hey hey, this isnt going too bad eh?
Trent: Opens the other side and looks at me.
ME: Crap! Roadblock, Big Daddy didn't take all the rolls out of the package he just shoved the whole 358 rolls enpackage into the closet. "Trent, look, yup that package of toilet paper, bring it to Mommy"
Trent: looks up, looks down, rubs the plastic on the package
ME: "YA YA!! Bring it to Mommy"
Trent: reaches down and grabs a washcloth and toddles over to me "Here Mommy"
ME: "Thanks sweetie, but what I really want is the pack of toilet paper.. Or a roll if you can reach behind the package." Even though the package is larger than Trent.. I figure he's a smart kid, right?
Trent: Goes back to the closet and looks around.
ME: Takes empty roll of holder, holds it up "Trent, this, ya this! Roll of toilet paper. Grab one and bring it to Mommy"
Trent: Rubs some towels, throws them on the floor.
ME: "Hey, the big package, bring it to Mommy!"
Trent: looks up.... spots a half of a roll of paper towel which is stashed with some cleaning supplies. "Paper Mommy, paper" ugh, ugh, ugh...jumping to reach the paper towel even though he is about four feet too short and can only jump about two inches.
ME: "No buddy, no, I need toilet paper. Not paper towel... down, look down"
Trent: walks away and goes downstairs.
ME: waddle over to the closet with my pants down and get it myself.

What a good way to waste a half an hour.