Gender Gap

I think that every child who has a sibling at some point ponders about favoritism and whether or not they are their parents "favorite". What you realize when you become a parent of more than one child is that it is physically impossible to have a favorite. Joseph was our "favorite" for the first 2.5 years of his life merely out of circumstance and simple fact that he was our only. However, Big Daddy and I learnt in the time frame of about a mili-second that when you have more than one child your heart does not become shared, I think it just doubles in size and love. It's an unexplainable feeling.

As your babies grow into people with personalities you so quickly realize that you love each child individually and for totally different reasons. You simply just love them for who they are. I can definitely say that I could never say I love one of my children more than the other, but I do love them in very different ways. Because they such very different people.

But, I have to wonder if that as a parent you recognize with your children on different levels. What I mean is, the other day I asked Big Daddy if he felt he related with Joseph about certain things moreso than Trent because both Big Daddy and Joseph are the oldest in their "clans". Whereas I feel I recognize or relate with Trent about particular things because we are both the second born's in our clan. I also wonder if you relate to your children of the same gender differently than you do your children of your opposite gender?

I don't think that it is something we necessarily choose to do. It is just natural instinct. Or, is that what makes your relationships with your children so special is because you relate to them differently?

I have to say that not knowing the gender of this baby is driving me crazy. Don't get me wrong, my greatest wish is for a very healthy and happy baby. But I can't help myself but to wish for an "innie" rather than an "outie" this time, and I am not referring to belly buttons. I up until this point of my life have loathed the colour pink. But now, it seems to be the only thing on my mind. I want to buy frilly pink things. As surface emotions as those may be I think the deeper side of me really wants the life experience of having a daughter and I would love to know what it would be like to Mother a Daughter. It definately would be life changing.

On the other hand, it is a scary prospect. It would be (or so I think) so much easier to have a boy to round out our family. I mean, I know how it all works (or once again, so I think) we have heaps of clothes and toys which are gender appropriate and the boys would be able to chum around and talk guy talk 24/7. Oh God how left out will I become.

Some days I wish I had a crystal ball to lead my way and light my path, but true parenthood is fumbling around in the dark looking for all items of necessity while not wanting to wake the sleeping baby.