Do we talk too much?

I sometimes wonder if in the parent/child relationship if there is a thing as talking too much?

Big Daddy and I really strive to remember that our children are still people with thoughts and idea's of their own. We try to give them choices so that as they grow into young men they have decision making skills and can make choices based on how they truly feel or the consequences that may come with their decisions. Don't get me wrong we don't live in a parentless world, we very much rule the roost on what we feel are the important things like say wearing a seat belt, really they have no choice but to do it.

But not all that long ago I was talking to a friend and we were chatting about a pretty life changing thing in her child's life and I asked point blank how the child felt about it. The reply I got was "I don't know, I didn't ask."
I tried not to act shocked at the moment and I hope if I did appear that way it wasn't offensive. I don't judge those parents, it is their child and they will do what they wish.

However, I could not imagine myself if in that situation not having asking one of my kids how they felt about it.

In the more recent with the stresses of life and raging pregnancy hormones I haven't handled a few things so well. To put it lightly.

Joseph has had a request to be a ring bearer in a friends wedding party. We had to go, try on and reserve the tux's. I explained what a ring bearer was and the process of it. I then asked him if it were something he would like to do. He right away became quite upset and said no he didn't want to do it. We spoke about his reasons why and he really had some valid ones. I was not going to force the issue. What I felt as a parent I needed to do was to coach him on how to turn down such an honorable offer gracefully. I felt that was just as important, if so not more important than fulfilling the requested task.
So, off we went to the tux shop. When we got there the groom was waiting for us and crouched down to speak to Joseph. Joseph so ever politely said "thank you for the offer, but am just too afraid to do it." It was sweet, innocent and grown up all wrapped in one. I then too apologized and we headed on our way.

On the way home through my tears, yes I cried about it. I pondered if I did the right thing. Should I have never said anything to Joseph and just got him measured for a tux and plunked him in it and sent him down the aisle on the wedding day? Or did I do the right thing in asking him what he thought about it? And if so, should I have pressured him more to do it? Big Daddy and I have concluded that it is much better to turn down the offer now with grace and dignity than to have a very upset five year old on that day screaming bloody murder that he doesn't want to do it and having the bride and groom have that in their memory bank of that day.

It is so hard in these situations to realize that each child is different and to know what is the perfect answer to all of these things. Because I believe that with each child the answer is going to be different. I just hope we don't over think things because sometimes the answer is much more simple than we make it.