Joseph's Introduction to Jacques
I guess since I grew up with only a sister I was never taught anything about boys. I never imagined myself with two sons. But alas, here we are and I wouldn't change it for the world. I thought one of the greatest benefits of having sons would be that I didn't have to explain "things" to them. With girls at some point you have to. I guess I just never realized that there were other "things" that went along with being a boy since I have no first hand knowledge.
A few months ago Big Daddy decided to sign Joseph up for baseball. If I recall correctly as part of the discussion went something along the lines of "no son of mine is going to play t-ball... he's going to play REAL ball" I think there was some grunting, farting and scratching in there as well. So, here we are the start of ball season with two practices under our belt and already one schmuck to the mouth.
Big Daddy and I were discussing the first game and Big Daddy says to me "We should really get him a can for baseball".
"you want to get a what for a who now?!" It never dawned on me that a can was necessary for non-knee you in the crotch sports. But I guess baseball is one of them. Big Daddy proceeded to tell me about the many times it could have been game over without the can. Hmm, really not a subject I was interested in... but whatever a can it is, I'll go buy him one.
But, umm? where do buy one? are there sizes? I learnt more about male part safety in the last few days than I thought I would ever need to know. I am sure everyone in Canadian Tire was laughing at me standing infront of the "can" wall like a deer caught in the headlights.
I also have to say I was a little embarrassed buying it. So I had to buy something else... You know the old hide it amongst the bottle of diet coke trick. I almost felt compelled to tell the cashier the "can" wasn't for me. But the coke was. I however couldn't look her in the eyes long enough to talk anyways. I think at that moment I was wishing I were somewhere else buying a bra, thong underwear, condoms, maxi pads, tampons and some x-lax.
But the hits just keep on coming. Big Daddy and I, after inspecting the man-goods and discussing that we think i'd bought the right one (hope so, its probably like bathing suit bottoms and you can't return it) we have to explain to Joseph that he needs to wear it. I think the term "can" confused him a little because he looked at us like we were nuts and said "ummm, like a pepsi can?"
No dude. Whatever you do, don't stick your goods in a pepsi can.
Game day arrived and Big Daddy coached Joseph on how to use the man-goods. Much to Joseph's dismay.
En route to the game I had to enquire what else on earth a guy would wear a jock strap for. You know without the cup? Big Daddy didn't have a clear answer for me, but we had some laughs making things up.
I never knew in all my life as a mother I would have to deal with this stuff. But it's here and it's oh so real.
A few months ago Big Daddy decided to sign Joseph up for baseball. If I recall correctly as part of the discussion went something along the lines of "no son of mine is going to play t-ball... he's going to play REAL ball" I think there was some grunting, farting and scratching in there as well. So, here we are the start of ball season with two practices under our belt and already one schmuck to the mouth.
Big Daddy and I were discussing the first game and Big Daddy says to me "We should really get him a can for baseball".
"you want to get a what for a who now?!" It never dawned on me that a can was necessary for non-knee you in the crotch sports. But I guess baseball is one of them. Big Daddy proceeded to tell me about the many times it could have been game over without the can. Hmm, really not a subject I was interested in... but whatever a can it is, I'll go buy him one.
But, umm? where do buy one? are there sizes? I learnt more about male part safety in the last few days than I thought I would ever need to know. I am sure everyone in Canadian Tire was laughing at me standing infront of the "can" wall like a deer caught in the headlights.
I also have to say I was a little embarrassed buying it. So I had to buy something else... You know the old hide it amongst the bottle of diet coke trick. I almost felt compelled to tell the cashier the "can" wasn't for me. But the coke was. I however couldn't look her in the eyes long enough to talk anyways. I think at that moment I was wishing I were somewhere else buying a bra, thong underwear, condoms, maxi pads, tampons and some x-lax.
But the hits just keep on coming. Big Daddy and I, after inspecting the man-goods and discussing that we think i'd bought the right one (hope so, its probably like bathing suit bottoms and you can't return it) we have to explain to Joseph that he needs to wear it. I think the term "can" confused him a little because he looked at us like we were nuts and said "ummm, like a pepsi can?"
No dude. Whatever you do, don't stick your goods in a pepsi can.
Game day arrived and Big Daddy coached Joseph on how to use the man-goods. Much to Joseph's dismay.
En route to the game I had to enquire what else on earth a guy would wear a jock strap for. You know without the cup? Big Daddy didn't have a clear answer for me, but we had some laughs making things up.
I never knew in all my life as a mother I would have to deal with this stuff. But it's here and it's oh so real.
posted by Jessica @ 11:00 PM
1 Comments:
At 8:18 AM ,
Shar-Lee said...
lol, I can see you in Canadian Tire! I only have one piece of knowledge on this one, and it may be of no help, other than reassurance.... I've been there, and done that, and one day you too will laugh when it happens to someone else!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home