Why is it?

Why is it that when things are going according to plan in life you try not to veer off route? But, when things don't go according to plan or we get lost so to speak we are looking all the map for a new route. Why is easy just so darn easy?

The things in life that I wish I had the most control over are infact the things I have the least control of. Maybe that is why I never feel "in control".

I just sometimes wish I could know what was going on and make a plan and we could stick to the plan.

Its like this baby. I wanted to know the gender. Mostly so I could prepare... name, nursery, and just...well... know. Of course the ultra sound tech couldn't tell. Its just one of those things. I know that there is a reason I don't know and I know with patience and time we will know. I mean the baby IS going tobe born like it or not and that day we will have a definate answer. But until then I will just be so bitter and it will eat me alive that we couldn't find out the sex. And I know that when the baby is 3 months, 3 years or 30 years I will look back and (probably) think something like "gee I am so glad we didn't know for blablabla reason". But it doesn't stop me now from wanting to know.

I guess somewhere along the path of life I have to just suck it up and hand control over to God and realize that I have such little power over my own life. Why is it such a hard acceptance?