I told you so!

I knew when Big Daddy and I made the decision that our third child would make our family complete that this day would come. This day where I felt the saddest of emotions that I would never again carry a fetus for nine months and give birth. It's here and I told you it would come in like a tidal wave.

It is here and it is what it is and I have push past it. Because in all honesty I do not want any more children of my own. I just have the desire to be pregnant and give birth. Weird? Yes, of course. Would it be me if it weren't weird.

I must say that this feeling most definately comes upon me because two very dear people in my life gave me three new baby boys to love all in the same day. My sister-in-law gave me a new nephew whom is sweet as pie and looks exactly like his older brother. My sweet Jewish friend (I heart the Jews) Was blessed with the most handsome twin boys on the exact same day my nephew was born. Three boys in one day!!!

I think it is engrained in us to swoon over newborns. I miss the smell, the aura, the genuine closeness of one-ness you feel when you pop your newborn right into your shirt for some skin to skin contact, and the way they sink right into your very being and I swear your souls actually touch. I miss the bird mouth when they are hungry. I sooo miss the little stretches when they stick their bums out. I miss the chicken legs and how the diapers are always way too big at first.
I am sad. I am sad that I will never have those moments again.

But I need to remind myself that I HAD those moments, I had them all to myself three times over and they were spectacular. I also need to remind myself that little bum stretch does not pay for groceries or a university education.

I can't wait to hold these babies. I know since they aren't mine it's probably not a good idea to stick them into my shirt and they won't quite sink into my soul quite like my babies did, but they have already touched the depths of my heart. I can't wait to watch them grow and I can't wait to hold them all, spoil them all, play with them, wind them up and feed them inappropriate things that I don't even let my own children eat....and send them home.