End of an Era

Why is it that sometimes something that feels so right can leave a ulcer burning pit in the bottom of your stomach?

Big Daddy and I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to stay at home and raise our family. Thus, I have recently quit my job. It is such a reminder that at the end of the day it is a job and that it doesn't define you. Like Carrie Bradshaw said on an episode of Sex in the City "It's not who I am, it's what I do."

Over the past nine years I have been employed at the same place. Nine years isn't a huge amount of time, I do realize that. However, it was significant enough. Especially for me since it was a portion of my life where I did a lot of growing up. I have had this job longer than I have been married. During my time there I got married and had three children. My life changed drastically over those nine years.

As much as it was the right decision and I need to this for my family. It was sad to let go. It seemed that those three days a week that I worked reminded me that I was human, an adult and at the craziest of times in my life as a mother when everyone else would go for coffee and I would stay back at my desk to work, or blog, it was silence. It was escape from my "real" job at home.

I will be honest. I didn't necessarily love the job itself, but I liked the people. For the most part. I mean can't we all agree there is that "one" everywhere you go right? But some of these women have Mothered me at work and made me laugh and have even seen me at some of my weakest moments and cared enough to send me home to soothe my soul those days I needed it most.

Coming to the decision was easy. Quitting was hard, writing that message to my boss was even harder. I have come a long way and strived for many things and being a quitter generally isn't on my agenda. When I quit something I feel failure...because in a large percentage of times in life quitting is a form of failure. But in this case quitting wasn't failing. It is taking a step up.

Of all the advice I have gotten across the board when trying to make this life changing decision the few words that kept coming across time and again were "you won't regret it!"
Believe me, a few days in already and I don't. Not one bit. There is no greater accomplishment in life than watching your children grow up. As cliche as it sounds, it is fact. They grow up too fast. I don't want to miss it. Also, being the realist I am the fact of the matter is, I simply can't justify working to pay someone for the job *I* want to be doing. That would be like paying someone to eat my piece of cake...no way!! I want the cake!

It's life and it is what it is and it's a huge leap of faith. But as stressed out I am and as much as I sometimes wonder "what if" I KNOW, in the depths of my heart that a job will always be there when and if I need one. For now, I'll take my kids.
I know.... I won't regret it.